Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Blood
Written & performed by
Joe Amero
Directed by Kate Fenton
Dramaturgy by
Dana Puddicombe
November 14th & 21st -8pm
at
Bad Dog Theatre Company
(Photography by
Danielle Blancher
Make-up by Kayla Dobilas
Poster by DYNAMO)

"FRIENDS"

10/07/2019 - 10/13/2019


One beautiful summer day I was cleaning up panhandling at Queen & John!  We called that spot 'the pillars' becase, well, there were pillars there.  I was in a great mood, with my pocket full of cash and a small fortune in change.  Hal and I were going to see a huge punk show later that night at the Big Bop and D.R.I. was supposed to be there!  All of a sudden there's some street kid standing in front of me (blocking my customers) telling me I was in his spot and I had to leave.  This was ridiculous to me because there was not one person in the entire city that had the seniority to bounce me from this spot, or any other.  It really took a turn for the hilarious when the kid told me if I didn't leave, he was going to go get his "friends" Hal & Twitch, and they would kick the shit out of me!
Something told me it was a fair bet to call his bluff.
I told him I wasn't afraid of Hal & Twitch and that he could go get them if he wanted to.
He stormed off up the street headed west towards Spadina, where I knew Hal was panning up his share of capital for the evenings' upcoming festivities.
Soon enough, the kid was back with Hal (my Brother) in tow. 
Hal was already laughing about how all of this was about to go down. 
We let the kid explain to me (Twitch) how this was Hal (my Brother) and he was gonna kick the shit out of me for not giving him the spot.
I can still see the look on his face when Hal turned to him and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck.
Hal told the kid to go to Yonge Street and not come back.  Hal also noted that the kid should not go aroundd telling people Hal & Twitch were gonna beat the shit out of them because we were nice guys.  Then he threw the kid half way down the sidewalk and we laughed at him until long after he was out of sight.
Then we ate some acid!
We were just starting to trip when, none other than David Schwimmer, Ross from t.v's FRIENDS comes walking by.  Hal asked him for some change and he politely said sorry.  Hal jumps up and reminds Mr. Schwimmer that we're supposed to be "friends" and insists that Ross kick him down a couple of bucks.  Good old Dave is shitting his pants now with this crazy street kid following him down the street and he starts to hurry up.  Hal kept pace and the next thing I knew, Hal is chasing behind David Schwimmer at full speed screaming about how friends are supposed to help each other out as the horrified actor runs for his life!

I was dying!

I laughed for a long time until I realized a long time had passed.
I hoped David Schwimmer was ok.
Then I hear a faint scream in the distance getting louder as it quickly approached.
It was Hal (of course) and he was riding a Dickie-Dee ice cream cart at full speed down the sidewalk!
He was screaming his head off like an insane siren as he barreled down the sidewalk sending pedestrians flying out of the way in fear for their lives.
For a split second I noticed that he was holding a paper cup filled with dry ice from the ice cream and it was cart smoking like a mad scientists' potion.
 Then he slammed the cart straight into the pillar.
Hal flew through the explosion of popsicles and drumsticks and crashed hard against the pillar and then into a screaming pile of pain on the ground.
I put him in a Beck Taxi, tipped the driver well to make sure he got to Toronto Western Hospital, and I went to the show.

He fractured his arm in 4 places and had to wear a traction cast for 3 months.
D.R.I. didn't make it across the boarder.


   On Monday Dana headed out to tour the world doing improv on a cruise ship!
I had the day off and spent it recovering from the 24 Hour Improv Marathon at Bad Dog 
and making adjustments to the Blood script from her final notes.
I made plans with Danielle Blancher & Kayla Dobilas for our Blood promo photo shoot!
On Tuesday I went back to work.
On Wednesday I met with Kate to schedule our remaining time into rehearsals!
On Thursday I played my last show (Triptych) with The Featured Players at
Bad Dog Theatre Company.
(it was anti-climactic) 
On Friday I worked on Blood tech scripts and some promo.
On Saturday I went to work.
On Sunday I met with Kayla Dobilas and Danielle Blanchard and did a photo shoot for Blood!

"FRIENDS"


Tuesday, October 8, 2019

SUCK IT!

09/30/2019 - 10/06/2019

I moved to Hamilton from Toronto 5 years ago.
I've continued to work in Toronto that entire time.
The two cities are 68.7 kms apart.
That's:
687 km per week
2,748 km per month
32,976 km per year
for a grand total of 164,880 km in 5 years
for my commute.
For the last 2 years, I've been driving an average of 30 km per day AT work on top of my commute.
That's another:
150 km per week
600 km per month
7,200 km per year
(x2 = 14,400km)
for a whopping 179,280 km driven!
(almost half way to the fucking MOON!)
11 hours per day on average.

I've driven a Volkswagen Golf into the ground and I'm currently doing the same to a Jeep Patriot.
A couple weeks ago, I accepted a new job offer for more money that requires ZERO driving.
The same day I accepted the offer GO announced 4 new morning and evening schedules of express trains to Union Station (right by my new office!).
I have 10 more shifts left in my current position and then I'll never have to drive to work
(or at work) again.

SUCK IT!


On Monday I went to work
On Tuesday I went to work
On Wednesday I went to the airport before work to get Kenny's phone back from the woman who found it right before we went on our trip to New Orleans!  I tried to buy her lunch but she insisted I "spend the money on the two beautiful little girls in the photo" on Kenny's screensaver!  "
On Thursday I played in Triptych at Bad Dog with the Featured Players.
(we had a really great time!)
On Friday I went to a Doctor's appointment with Kenny while Adeline was in school.
(Violet freaked out ALL the parents in the waiting room with how "smart and vocal" she is.)
On Saturday we celebrated Kenny's birthday and then later I went to Bad Bod to take part in the
24 HOUR IMPROV MARATHON!
On Sunday I was still in the marathon until 7pm. 
When it was finally over, I had chicken fingers and a beer and slept over at Maggies's place.


SUCK IT!


BLOOD 18/11/2019 - 24/11/2019 First of all. and most importantly, let me say thank you. Thank you all forever. I'm not exactly ...