Monday, March 16, 2020
I was hesitant to continue Blood any further than the first two initial shows.
It's a taxing piece and I was fully prepared to put it behind me.
A personal and professional success!
Lance Byrd, a hilarious comedian I know, told me that if the piece helped people, then I had an obligation to the theatre to continue it.
He asked me:
"Who the fuck do you think you are?!"
"You don't get to just walk away!
If your work helps people then you get up there and you do it!"
He was right.
(He usually is)
With Lance's words burned into my mind, I let Chris (Ragonetti) talk me into putting the show back up and began digging back into the work.
This time around I was working with my younger Sister Maggie as Director.
We were into a deep dive and it wasn't long before I found myself in a dangerous potential relapse situation.
All of a sudden, after years of sobriety, I was in serious trouble.
Trouble with the law, trouble for my Family, trouble for my work and trouble for my life.
I sought help immediately.
I sat in an hour long group information session where they told us our rehabilitation assessment dates were randomly being assigned in another room.
The night before, I went to The Staircase Theatre in Hamilton with Chris to have a look around and speak to the booker about dates for the show. When we were offered April 24th & 25th, I insisted we book the dates immediately.
These were the days between when my Brother died and when he was discovered.
It was meant to be.
The next day I left the medical centre contemplating an addiction and grieving counselling course.
Our group was met by a nurse in the hallway, we'd tell them our name and he'd give us our paperwork with our assessment dates out of his pile and tell us to have a nice day. I took mine, folded it into my inside pocket and quickly found the appropriate room to piss.
Outside, I was waiting for the streetcar, when an eerie feeling came over me.
I looked around to see who was setting off my spidey-senses, but I was alone.
Or so I thought.
The sky took to a strange movement in all of its' thick greyness, and clear as day. I could hear my Brother's voice.
"Don't throw your life away over my death."
Of course, these were my own thoughts, but they were his words in his voice.
It shook me to my core.
I instantly took out my paperwork and right at the top of the first page, written in red sharpie was my random assessment date:
The grey sky lightened, the sun came out, I got on my streetcar and went down the road.
We're all affected by this virus.
ALL the shows are cancelled now.
We don't know when or if things go back to normal.
A lot of people are losing a lot of money and the future is uncertain
(even more than usual).
My show is very important to me and a lot of people, just like yours.
Everything happens for a reason and magic is all around us.
I believe this is a warning from the Creator.
We need to take heed.
Next time we won't get off so easy.
Please be careful and be kind to each other.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Sunday, March 1, 2020
25/11/2019 - 08/03/2020
When they died I wore their jackets like a warm hug.
My Brother Harold was a man of many coats, he had one for every mood and style he may be feeling at the moment. In the short time I was aloud into his house (with his psycho girlfriend) after his death, I managed to grab only one. I got his old green camouflage army surplus issue. It was obviously too big for me and not my style at all, but I wore it everywhere.
People would comment:
"When are you shipping out?"
"Oh, I almost didn't see you there!"
"Hi GI Joe"
Countless 'hilarious' quips and 'witty' observations.
I didn't care.
I had him close to me;
I could smell him and feel his warmth and essence.
It's good, sound advice to not judge people because you never know what they may be going through.
That's why I never let my objectivity get out of reach to where I would forget that peoples' problems were not about me.
My Papa left behind a practically brand new Dakota brand black work jacket that my Cousin Jessica and her boyfriend Mike gave him. I was over at the house with my Mom after he passed away and she offered it to me as a keepsake. I grabbed it, put it on and have worn it every day since. It too was not my style and made me stick out like a sore thumb at my new job in a high profile government building amongst the suits in their lower level designer clothes.
I don't care.
I had him close to me;
I could take solace in its' comfort and relief in its' rugged practicality.
In their clothes, I brought them forward with me, and I wasn't alone in the crowds of smirking, awkward strangers and seas of prying, judgemental eyes.
We're all guilty of preconception.
I know, after my crazy life, with all my scars and tattoos, I look like a maniac to some people.
Get to know people.
I have found that they will undoubtably, without fail, surprise you 100% of the time.
Throw away your safety net, get outside of your vacuum and give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
If you don't, you're denying yourself the countless possibilities of real true friendship staring at you right in the face.
I'm the nicest guy you'll ever meet.
Deal with it.
In November we did Blood.
We had two sold out shows at The Bad Dog Theatre with an incredible response.
(I got to experience what a standing ovation feels like, TWICE!)
I started a new job and have been underwhelmed by it ever since.
In December we had a wonderful Christmas at home with Family.
Kids LOVE Christmas and remind you how special and magic the whole thing is.
(So special, in fact, it's worth lying to your own Children about a strange man in another part of the world who can see them sleeping and wont break into their home to bring them presents if they misbehave?)
Right before the holiday, my friend Chris Ragonetti talked me into letting him produce Blood in the New Year.
In January we talked Blood and began to put the pieces in place.
We booked The Staircase Theatre in Hamilton for two shows:
both at 8PM
both new and improved!
(We also booked The Alumnae Theatre for 7 shows:
In February we hired the guns and pulled the trigger.
I'm honoured to have my Sister Maggie directing this round!
(March hasn't happened yet, but the beat goes on!)
I hope to see you at one of the shows, I'll save you a hug!
(I'll be the one in the new jacket.)
POSTPONAVIRUS 09/03/2020 - 16/03/2020 I was hesitant to continue Blood any further than the first two initial shows. It's a t...
UNDERTAKING 06/03/2019 - 06/09/2019 To say things have been stressful since my brother's death would be an understatement. I ...
SOLD OUT! 11/11/2019 - 11/17/2019 Blood was spilled. We were ready. Kate and Dana and I worked on this for a good long while. They g...
HUGS 25/11/2019 - 08/03/2020 When they died I wore their jackets like a warm hug. My Brother Harold was a man of many coats, he h...